Monday, March 23, 2009

Not a worry in the world...

lately I have been more or less accused of taking this upcoming move too lightly.
It is on purpose that I say 'accused'. Dutch people do have a tendency of looking at things while coming up with all possible ways why it might turn out to be a disaster.
And the Dutch love sharing those possibilities. Best part of that is afterwards coming up with the sentence: "I don't want to be the one telling you afterwards I told you so, so you better be prepared for it, because it is very possible it all may go wrong...."

And I have been hearing that too much lately. All possible scenario's came up already just to make sure I will be prepared for the worst.

Turns out that the effect is the opposite from what seems to be their goal.
I will not share my concerns with them, but will tell them that we will do great, we won't miss the Netherlands, my family will come over and there hardly are any differences between PA and my part of the Netherlands.

Well, bullsh.. of course.

Leaving the country you were born and lived for 45 years isn't easy and will be very hard at times.
Of course I have my worries, mostly for my son who will have to get used to a whole new life without his family, without his schoolmates and in a country of which he doesn't speak the language very well yet. He will have to go to school in a system he doesn't know on an age that usually isn't the easiest part of life.
Still, I know my teenager as a wonderful smart and intelligent boy that adjusted to some big changes the last few years and all I can do right now is hope that he will do well. He has the right mindset and wants to come with me, has had the opportunity to look around a bit already and until now liked what he saw.
He is still at the age that it is easier to adjust than when you are already set in your ways.

As I am....
Over the last few months I realized that it is usually people younger than I am who jump into deep water. And several of those have had it really rough getting adjusted.
There are certain things I will miss very much, there are things that I worry about if I think about. The biggest one is not having the freedom of getting to know the area by myself, go out and about since I don't have a drivers license and getting on the bike to go groceries shopping won't be an option.
After living on my own for some time now I love my freedom to go as I like.
I have very much enjoyed my adventures getting on the train and traveling to the other side of the country without having to depend on other people as I had to do for 20 years.
I worry on how I will handle the fact I will have to depend on Jack for every step out of the house for a while.

I also worry about my family, if they will be able to come over to visit.
And to be honest,I doubt if any of my sisters will be able to come over and visit us.
I worry about keeping in contact with them, since it already seems to be very hard to keep the contact going now. It will be hard missing them even though we don't seem that close.
I will miss my parents visits when they have been shopping in town and drop in for a cup of tea, it won't be that easy anymore.

And there will be many little things, like 'nasi kruiden', yoghurt that is different than I am used to, having to get used to Fahrenheit and ounces instead of Celsius and grammen.

There will be times that I won't be able to find the words to tell Jack why I am mad, or happy. There will be times I won't be able to explain why I feel like crying when there seems no reason.
There will be times that I will show signs of being homesick.

But do I have to make that a big deal now?
Do I have to start saying to people: Yes, you are right, it will be hard, maybe we shouldn't do it, because maybe it might not work?


Because knowing there may be hard times is something else than giving up before it even started. It is totally different from having faith in the future I feel we have as a couple and a family.
We are leaving a lot behind, but we are also gaining a whole new life.There will be wonderful times ahead also, we already know of many things we do love when we are there. We will be fine. We love each other.
And fully counting on Jack's support and help to guide us, you might actually wonder who should be worried here, us, or Jack, LOL

So there, I said it now.
You can stop coming up with all kind of doom scenario's.
Because we are going, no matter what you come up with.


Anonymous said...

Go for it & try before you die!

Anne Marie en Rocky

Anonymous said...

you GO girl!!!
I was 55 when I moved to the States and I loved it there. Of course there are differences but they are to be savoured! And if there's ever anything specific that you want, just let me know and I'll mail it to you, and mean it. Boemboe Nasi Goreng doesn't weigh all that much .
Having the internet makes a lot of difference, for the people who want to keep in touch with you, will easily be able to do that, and those that you are not too close with, well, that won't change for the better, probably, but is that a loss?
I was surprised by the welcoming attitude of the Americans that I met in my life and you will, just like I did, meet plenty of like-minded people when you go out with the dogs.

And one of the things that I did absolutely NOT miss there, were the infamous Dutch "zeikerds" , those pedantic know-it-alls...

don't worry, be happy!


Bibi said...

Wat Willeke zegt!
Je gevoelens verwoorden in een andere taal kan soms heel lastig zijn maar je vindt altijd wel een manier om iets te zeggen.
Wat betreft etenswaren,je kan ook veel op ebay vinden internationale online stores.
Ik heb speciaal voor hier mijn rijbewijs moeten halen, maar ben wel blij dat ik hem nu heb anders zou ik hier knettergek worden.
Waar in PA gingen jullie nou wonen?

Petra said...

We gaan naar Dillsburg.
Meen dat het zo'n beetje recht onder Liberty ligt als je op de kaart kijkt.

Anonymous said...

Hallo Petra je kent me niet, ik heb me zojuist aangemeld op het allesamerika forum en een moderator gaf me jouw link. Ik lees net dit stuk van jou en ik herken het zo! Ik zat echt ff met tranen zonet. Ik woon in Perkiomenville PA (volgens mij niet eens zo heel ver van Dilsburg, naar USA maten dan) en het aanpassen is gewoon moeilijk, maar ik geef niet op en ik wens jou heel veel succes en geluk.

Groetjes Susan